Sickness or Fear Which is Worse?

First off I want to say thank you to all the people who stopped by to read this. This article is more about me than I think that I like to admit, but I know that I'm not riding in this boat all alone. That's the point, to show we are all in this together. Either we refuse to believe it or not, the truth is that if you ain't facing it now, some day you will be, fear.

I need to at least say, I feel pretty good for everything that I went through this past year. I had cancer of the tonsil and it had spread to my lymph nodes. I had surgery to have most of it removed, the remainder was treated with chemo and radiation. The cancer that I had, they say is part of an epidemic of HPV (Human papillomavirus ) in middle aged men. According to my doctor there was over six thousand cases reported this year and the number is growing at staggering rate. Some say it will reach one hundred thousand by the 2016 if something isn't done, and soon. Anyway, enough of the background story.

I had a PET scan this past September and everything seemed to be clean and clear, as they say, according to latest test. But, you will have to be tested again in four months to check to see if anything shows up. Well, today was that day.

This is where fear is almost as bad as knowing comes in. I feel fine and for the past four months I have been eating and trying to gain my weight back and working to bring back energy levels lost during last summers treatments. I have tryed to pretend that the past year was just merely a blimp in the radar of life. Until today I have tried not to concern myself with thought that anything could be wrong and that everything was fine.

Fear,,what a strange word. Fear of the unknown, even a stranger thought. If something is unknown, why should you fear it. It's almost like when you start your car, thinking that I am going to have a wreck, so you are scared to back out of the driveway and go on with your day, even though you have done so a thousand times before. Fear, it seems that sometimes that we create our on fears. We have put prior circumstances in front of the latest results, to say that we tend to believe the worse, refuse to accept things as they are until they are reaffirmed by another source. Strange.

How do we over come these fears? It's not an easy question to answer. I think that we have one option that may be part of the answer, faith in God. Or faith in something larger than ourselves to believe in and reconcile our fear as unfounded. Overcoming the fear of a test results, once you have had bad news before, is a little different that finding out the first time. I think my faith in God is stronger now, for getting me through the past year and bringing out a better person on the other side. On the flip side of that is, now I pray for a good test result so I can go on with the rest of my life and maybe find a job or start creating more articles with more focus and less distractions.

Do you face your fears alone? You shouldn't. There are people out there that will listen and lot of people out there that have had a lot more to worry about than you. Somehow, they made it through it all and are still here smiling and more than willing to hear what you have to say and to offer words of advice.

Fear of the unknown can be overcome. Learn to accept thing for what they are, not what you think it could be. Don't give in to the temptation to over think the situation, if you feel good, say,"I feel good today," and say it out-loud. When you wake up say, "today is going to be a great day and I feel good," you have to say it out loud to overcome your sub-conscious mind that is trying to bring the bad thoughts and fear to the surface. I know that it will be difficult a lot of times to remember this, but you really can make yourself feel better, words can work wonders and thoughts can be killers. You have to make up your mind, "I am better," after a little bit you will be amazed that you actually do!

You know, after writing this article, I feel better. I think I realeased my fear on to this page and found something I was looking for was inside all along. I only hope that you that read this, will find that same feeling.

Bless you all and best wishes for your future. REC